BLOG.
FOR MELISSA TROPNAS — BY MELISSA TROPNAS.SERIES OF MY THOUGHTS AND RANDOM POINTS OF VIEW.
DECEMBER 19, 2024
I DID A 10-DAY VIPASSANA MEDITATION RETREAT AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS TSHIRT THAT SAYS “YOU PEEPED?”
Hahah, the goal of the meditation is to remain equanimous while observing the natural up and down sensations within your body. This experiential understanding allows you to believe in the laws of nature, since it’s happening in your own body.
You realize that everything truly comes and goes. Nothing is permanent, so we don’t need to attach ourselves to things that inevitably ride their ways out. With this truth, I began to reflect on some of the habit patterns (sankharas) that I was holding on to for the past 30 years. You begin thinking about situations you’ve experienced, people you’ve met, relationships you have with friends, family, colleagues… You realize how much misery we cause by gripping tight to things that are trying to move on.
We hold onto them for far too long after they’ve left. For several reasons: pride, insecurity, indecision, agitation. It becomes a subconscious prison of the mind because we don’t allow ourselves to think independently from our desires and frustrations.
When you start practicing equanimity and detach from feelings of pleasure and disappointment, you get control of your mind. You aren’t blindly led by situations.. you truly master your life. You can expect to enjoy moments because you’re in control and you’re unshakable.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t feel pain or experience disappointments, it just means that we allow them to intrude and hold the door open, peacefully, expecting them to head out. Our resilience is deeply rooted.. you understand your decisions and the emotions you’re feeling.. without judgement on yourself. You just allow life to be this amusement park of adventures. Depending on which ride you select, some may cause unease, but you can expect for them to all end and a queue for the next one.
A liberated mind is one that accepts the realities of life and is guided by intuition to live fruitfully. The intuition is so clear because there are no attachments. Vipassana teaches you that there’s two main types of thoughts: craving and aversion; when we love in opposition to our cravings or feed in to our aversions, this causes misery.. So take some time to observe which category (of the two) your thoughts are falling under.. then remain still… or “equanimous” as Vipassana meditators would say 🧘🏾♀️
Meditation helps with that focus to truly understand. This was one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. If you’re ready for stillness, clarity and freedom, you’re ready for Vipassana. Giving back Dhamma is important to me. It has changed my life, I know it will change other’s.
See information here: https://www.dhamma.org/en/index
-----------------------------
DECEMBER 17, 2024
✨TIPS TO BEING A BAD BITCH✨
**Disclaimer: The tone you’re about to read is intentional - to enhance the art of being bougie. But here’s the truth: being bougie is about knowing that your inherent worth is what makes you the best. That should be unshakable.**
Curation is the art of living. Intention is everything.
This is not a conversation that requires wealth or privilege. The privilege is having the access to read this. Wealth isn’t necessary for a well curated life. Let me show you the ways of the yoda ✨
First and foremost, I don’t know that TikTok girl. She doesn’t meet my requirements of curation. Good for you if that’s your vibe… but we’re on Pinterest and are.na over here.
What do you mean you don’t know anything about wine? Not even that dry wine is classic and elegant while that sweet stuff is so tacky and cheap, omg. A glass of white is almost always acceptable, so if you want to be cute - start with a glass of Sancerre or go for the Chenin Blanc.
Fast fashion? I don’t know her!!! We are not in the same league. Ms. Nova and I have never had a conversation.
Why is your bed so flat… I’m trying to rest. Get yourself a mattress topper, high thread count WHITE sheets, comfortable pillows and a duvet!! Is it really expensive if it’s a lifetime investment? It should be like a hotel everyday in your bed.
Oh so you don’t read books? Interesting. Your biggest source of knowledge is a web of conspiracy theories and information on the internet regurgitated by someone else? I have nothing to say on that. I’ve read at least 6 books this year. I said I’m bougie, so yes, I think I’m better than a lot of people.
You’re going on dates but have no money? Interesting. Seems like we’re ignoring life’s gentle nudges for a little self accountability and improvement. But sure, SheraSeven is your goat. ✨ sprinkle sprinkle ✨
Perfume is an outfit, not an accessory. Therefore if you leave without it, you are naked in front of the whole world. We certainly don’t want that (though I don’t kink shame!). Scent creates a memorable signature for you long after you leave the room.. so it is essential. Value yourself. Chin up, clavicles out, spray that girl.
Help! I don’t know what a door handle is.
So you don’t know anything about having the Tropézienne for dessert after a 9pm dinner reservation in the South of France? O.
“She asked me if it was Fashion Week and I said ummm?? Every week is Fashion Week!” Please give yourself an excuse to walk the runway everyday.
Don’t invite me out if you don’t share plates or have an expanded palette… This is not a cost saving habit, it’s an experiential moment of elegance.
You fly multiple different airlines? Interesting.
My music taste is not bougie tho hahaha 🤪 Have fun!
Luxury isn’t about cost, it’s about care. You’re a creative director…curate your life.
This is free game.
-----------------------------
DECEMBER 16, 2024
WEIRDOS DETERMINING HOW WE SHOULD DATE - CRAZY, NO?
Help! They’re controlling the minds of my people by distracting them into yet another digital social cult!!
Where are the regular people at - for real? In a digital world where everyone thinks they’re a relationship therapist, I’m just trying to find my people and be my regular ass self. I don’t want to be “submissive,” I don’t want to be “dominant,” and I definitely don’t want to perform for love. When did relationships become this weird game of strategy, labels and rigid roles?
My big question is: how do people see life so one-dimensionally? What studies have you done? What type of humans have you actually been exposed to? We always hear that men act this way and all women react another… Are we robots now? Programmed to play our roles?
I’m tired. I don’t want to hear about no 50/50. I don’t care about being “high value.” That’s not something I work on being — it’s a naturally provided asset since birth. Stop selling partnership life to me like it’s a product.
I am a beautiful woman who just happens to be single. I still have desires though — my genitals are intact — but love isn’t a strategy… It’s an intuitive journey that naturally unfolds.
Don’t you see? Surrendering to these roles dehumanizes people and takes away the beauty of individuality. Stop trying to “master” dating or find a way to be good at it. Just be. If someone hurts your feelings, breaks your heart and/or plays in your face, so what??? That’s okay. We’re trying so hard to protect ourselves from pain or rejection that it’s taking us away from the true gems of life — real connection and the journey of ups and downs along the way.
Here’s the thing: I am traditional, but I’m also progressive.. I can’t be boxed! Life isn’t one dimensional, so why do we make assumptions about people with such bold confidence before actually getting to know them… ?
“Oh he’s a guy — let me make him sweat a bit to ensure he likes me more than I like him.”
“Ah, she’s an Aquarius? I better start off as friends so I don’t scare her away..”
What are we doing?! Asking for birth charts before we ask the real questions: What’s the last thing that made you laugh? What do all of your friends have in common? What is it about your favorite movie that makes it your favorite? Do you have pets?
Here’s a wild idea…Do the hard stuff! Ask QUESTIONS. Stop relying on assumptions, astrology or digital advice you got from a TikToker who’s probably single too (no shade).
No one truly fits into a box. And if you happen to be right about someone, that doesn’t make you psychic…maybe just lucky.
Relationships shouldn’t require strategy. They require courage, discernment, vulnerability, intuition and curiosity. So stop with the games… for my sanity please!!!
-----------------------------
DECEMBER 15, 2024
CLIENTS VS. AGENCIES: WHY WE’RE ALL PLAYING CAPITALISM’S DUMBEST GAME
Hear me out when I say this. No clients were intentionally attacked when developing this piece of work, or maybe they were. We’ll never know. But let’s dissect.
Can’t one argue that today’s relationships between a client and their agency reflects some sort of dynamic where a false sense of power is used to get agencies in line. “I am the holder of this money that isn’t even mine and you. must. obey.” Have we forgotten that nothing is ever that serious? Why are we killing ourselves in a poor effort to prove ourselves worthy (of what? I’m not sure) to meet deadlines that only result in people buying more things and rich people getting richer. And I’m not mad at rich people being rich, don’t get me wrong. I’m just critiquing the dependence we have on them ruling the systems.
This system creates tension - clients, nervous about ROI and their bosses’ scrutiny, push agencies harder. Agencies, afraid of losing deals to hungry competitors, say ‘yes’ to anything.
But is it AT ALL necessary to project anxiety over font sizes? Or rebranding five different times to please a VP who constantly changes their mind or most times, doesn’t really give a shit? Are you nervous that if this goes wrong, you have nothing to tell your family regarding your achievements this holiday season?
And agencies, STAN’ UPPP. Why are you ass kissing? Why do we beg for scraps, shrinking ourselves in order to fit a narrative where the customer is always right? When we tell people to date, we say “know your standards” (even though y’all don’t be listening), but when we’re looking for money, we’re willing to degrade ourselves, putting on costumes of compliance and do the embarrassingly fetishized things we keep on hush?! This is prostitution!
I could be a little mean, but something seems sinister about the way we look for money. Particularly, in the lens of the client versus agency, it feels like a Stanford Experiment for Capitalism where some people are selected at random to be the aggressors (clients) and the prisoners (agencies). We are willing to compromise our health, our personal lives, our family traditions for the sake of these positions and what’s worse? We’ve convinced ourselves - just like the boys in that experiment - that this is real; that this is the way to live our lives. We’re slaves to system that doesn’t ensure we’re taking time off or that we value sick leave.
I’m here to remind you that worth doesn’t come in accolades. It was yours when you took your first breath.
I’m not here to offer solutions—just to call out the absurdity. This dynamic? It’s performative. It’s exhausting. And it’s a game we don’t have to play. Remember: your worth isn’t earned, it’s innate. Stand tf up. Set boundaries. Nothing is ever that serious.